Sometimes I see loneliness is the opposite of love. However, when I reflect about that I see that I am wrong. This feeling was the result of my need for closeness. However, I can also love someone when I am not together with that person. And you won’t stop loving someone only because he/she is out of the room, right?

I think that the feeling of loneliness is not the opposite of love but is strongly intertwined. When I am bothered by being lonely or if I feel sad, it points to a lack of love, namely self-love. I know that I don’t feel lonely when I am completely happy with my life and myself. I also know that I need to be alone with myself and be okay with it. Even or especially when I am in a relationship.

I slowly start to see the benefit of being alone again. Not that I want to stay alone. I just see it as another period in which I can work on myself and my life. Not being in a relationship can actually be a good compass. When you are single and you feel completely happy with how your life is going this would be a wonderful sign. Again, you should not confuse this with wanting to remain single for eternity. It shows that you are balanced and like yourself a lot. I think that others will also see and feel this.

So that’s where I am headed (hopefully). I still feel lonely. Sometimes a lot. But I got to the point when I can endure this pain. I think it is another sign that the fog disappears. When you see the benefit in something painful this is a very good sign =).

So why is this an article about love? Well it is about self-love. Being alone and okay with it is a sign that you like yourself. This always needs to be the precursor before entering a new relationship. It is not a guarantee that it remains that way (I speak from my own experience) but when you go into a new relationship without being friends with yourself you already put a lot of pressure (knowingly or unknowingly) on the relationship.

What do you think?

Take care, Stephan