On respect

At the moment, I look through my old mails and writings. After a conference on (self-)leadership in 2016 (NaLDS = National Leadership Development Seminar), each month for a year, I sent out a mail to all participants and the whole conference team. It is interesting to read it again for myself and I think there is still some validity to it.

The initial question, I addressed in this mail was how to distance yourself from others or to teach somebody to respect you? This was a question from one of the participants. I adjusted the text a bit, but only slightly.

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Don’t get overwhelmed by the beginning

Change can be scary. But it is often not the change itself, but the uncertainty that comes along with it. How can I do this? Where do I find that? When will I get there? And so on and so on. It is like standing in front of a huge mountain. You have heard that the land behind has plenty of nice things, but you also don’t know for certain. You also don’t know if you will ever make it over the mountain in the first place. Instead of being pulled by the promises of the new and “holy” land, we are pushed back by our fears.

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A book about yourself

You might think that there is already a word for this called biography, but this is not what I mean. A biography is often written so that others can get to know you and your life. A book about yourself is also no diary. A diary is also a great way to understand yourself and your thoughts better. However, a diary is not aimed at figuring out more about yourself. It is more of a response to daily events. A book about yourself is directed solely at increasing your understanding of yourself.

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Two inadequate bricks

Sometimes, I tend to focus on the negative in my life. And although I understand that our brains are hardwired to give more attention to negative or “dangerous” issues, I also know that I can train my brain to see the positive in my life, at least as clearly as I can see the negative. The following short story by and about Ajahn Brahm, helps me to shift my perspective.

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