Reflection: On being vulnerable

When you are a frequent reader of my blog, you know that I am rather open about my life and my feelings, and emotions. I was not always like that. When I was young, I was the opposite. I was very closed up trying to fight out everything with myself. That didn’t really work out…

Be aware of cognitive rigidity

What is cognitive rigidity? The short answer is that cognitive rigidity is when our way of thinking about something or how we see (parts of) the world is fixed and does not change. The long answer is that when we see something for the first time, or we engage with someone for the first time…

A tidbit of wisdom

I am always curious to learn something new. Fortunately, or unfortunately those moments of wisdom are rare and come unexpected. Sometimes it is something another person says. One sentence in an hour long talk that makes you think, oh yeah, she/he is right about that and why didn’t I realize it before, or I will…

Musings on Love – X

What happens if you do not talk? This is about every relationship we have that is meaningful to us. When it comes to the relationship with your partner, everything is amplified, because being in a relationship means there are additional expectations towards each other. Unfortunately, often they are not voiced. So what happens if we…

Reaching out to an old friend

We meet so many people in our lives. Some stay with us for a long while, some are just brief acquaintances, and most are somewhere in the middle =). The benefit of our connected world is that it is easier to find and, well, connect with old friends again. Today, I spoke with a friend…

How to Improve our Friendships

2014 I was facilitator of a specific conference (I wrote about it here) and I met a lot of new people there. One of them was a woman from the Philippines who is living in the Netherlands. We met there for the first time and didn’t really talk before, during the preparation process. Afterwards, we…

It is Difficult to be Open-Minded, if You Don’t Listen

Many people say about themselves that they are open-minded. Sometimes, I have the feeling that this is not really true. Maybe it is ignorance. I cannot really tell. I say that, if you don’t listen, you cannot really be open-minded.

A Different Way to get to Know Someone

Imagine you meet someone new, or you are on a date, what is the first question (given you know the name already) you ask? I bet it might be something along the lines of: “What are you doing?”. It is a natural think to ask. We are curious and want to get to know the…

36 Questions to fall in love – XX

I think it is only fair that you get to know me a little bit better to understand how I think and how my brain works in order to put my writings into perspective and to draw your own conclusions. This is why I, once about every ten days, answer one of the questions from…

Ode to a good friend

A good friend is worth kingdoms. Probably more, as no wall on earth, no matter how beautiful, can give you the same support, as a good friend. A good friend will give you comfort, when you need it most. A good friend will challenge you, when you need it most. Often, a good friend knows…