When you are a frequent reader of my blog, you know that I am rather open about my life and my feelings, and emotions. I was not always like that. When I was young, I was the opposite. I was very closed up trying to fight out everything with myself. That didn’t really work out well for me. I also wrote that now I might be too open at times and therefore overstrain other people. My experience is that it helps me to be more emotionally stable and healthy. I know that I still need to work on how I can be vulnerable in the best way for me, but I will never go back to not talking about my feelings, if I feel the need to.
I also try to be a role model for others. Maybe when I demonstrate vulnerability, others feel that it is okay for them, as well. And it is okay. I had the best conversations with people when both of us showed our vulnerable side. Those conversations you have go deep and they are incredibly powerful to connect. It is also a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow. In previous articles I talked about that each of us has a piece of the puzzle. When we hear how other people deal with struggles we can help and learn from each other.
You might ask yourself: “Well Stephan that sounds dangerous. Don’t you think that everyone would then just cry and be miserable all the time?“
I don’t know. My guess is that it will improve matters. In the long run. Maybe it will get worse first. Maybe when we start opening up to each other we see and experience all that is hidden under the surface. I bet that there is a lot of sadness. However, I also think that it will get better. If we finally establish a culture in which it is
okay appreciated to be vulnerable, we might start to cure many of the illnesses that come with wearing a mask day in and day out.
We can start small. We can start with our partners or with our family or with our best friend. Tell them how difficult it is for you to be vulnerable and what you need from them in order to feel safe. I know it can be scary. I know that we think that other expect us to have all the answers. That we need to be strong all the time. That is super unhealthy. For everyone involved.
What do you think?
Take care, Stephan