You probably know this feeling. There is something you wish for, but you know you should not hope too much, otherwise not getting it can be difficult to bear. It is a roller coaster. Our minds alternating between painting bright and hopeful pictures of what will happen, if our wish comes true, and painting dark images of defeat and loss.
If it would remain only by painting pictures, it might still be okay. What’s making it worse are our feelings and emotions which are attached to those images. Desire, joy, lust, confidence, pain, sadness, shame, and despair come in equal measures. Maybe not equal measures. Often, the negative thoughts are more prevalent.
But we need to remember one thing. And I say that to myself. If this wish comes true or not doesn’t say much about you. You are not the king of the world and from now on everything will work out, because you are so great. Simultaneously, if the wish doesn’t come true, you are still a wonderful human being.
Maybe it wasn’t the right time. Maybe it was. Often, there are plenty of parameters involved and we cannot account for all of them. All you can ask is whether you did everything in your power to make your wish come true? If yes, you are already on a good way and even a setback should not bring you from your path. Again, maybe it wasn’t the right time yet. Realize that you still work towards your dreams. As long as you do this you will end up where you are supposed to end up =).
Also, if you are in limbo for a longer time, our brain has the tendency to pull us back into our comfort zone. Waiting and hoping can be very tiring and we are on the edge of our comfort zone. So, don’t do something stupid =). Also, even if you do. You DID something stupid. But you ARE NOT stupid. If we acknowledge that we did something stupid, we can learn and adjust. If we think we are stupid, we give up, because that is just the way we are (spoiler alert: we are not =) ).
Bottom line, it is okay to hope and wish. I think it is a part of life and tells us what we are missing. But don’t make it about you. Especially, if the outcome is negative. As long as you work towards your dreams, you are setting yourself up for success!
Take care, Stephan