I wrote a lot about patience in my blog. Mainly because I need to be more patient myself. And patience is not only something for difficult times. Actually, a lack of patience can make good times more difficult again.
At the moment, I feel a lot better. I have much more energy. Me feeling better and having more energy is a wonderful thing and something I generally enjoy for the last two months. Yes, even during those two months there were difficult days in which I thought I will need to ask for help again. But so far I didn’t, and those days are now the exception than the rule.
However, during the last two days I felt uneasy again and I was wondering why I struggle more again? I thought of the fact that I didn’t write my ex-girlfriend for a while now, because I started to think a bit more about her during the last two days. But that’s not it. It is my perception of stagnation. I had this in the past too and that was often the reason why I wrote her. That’s why my brain started to think about this again, because it was a usual thought pattern.
Last week I ended my last project and now I am in a state of uncertainty. What will the next project be? When I hear the options, I am not overly excited. I am more aware than ever what I want to do and how my job should look like. I already started the process to change something, but this won’t happen overnight. Now, I have to be patient until the changes come into effect. One part of why it so difficult is not knowing when this will be the case. However, I need to train to be satisfied with myself that I am DOING something to change my situation and that this is all I can do.
Because when I stop and think about what I am currently doing, I see that I am headed in the right direction. It is just not as quick as I want it to play out. But that is life, right? And even if the next project is not what I want to be doing, I can always try to implement parts of it. I mean I did it during all of the previous projects. I will also learn something new, which is always good. Again, seeing the light in the darkness =).
Don’t let your impatience cloud your otherwise good life or good state of mind. I mainly say that to myself, but maybe it will help you as well =).
Take care, Stephan