Musings on Love – IX

Sometimes I see loneliness is the opposite of love. However, when I reflect about that I see that I am wrong. This feeling was the result of my need for closeness. However, I can also love someone when I am not together with that person. And you won’t stop loving someone only because he/she is out of the room, right?

I think that the feeling of loneliness is not the opposite of love but is strongly intertwined. When I am bothered by being lonely or if I feel sad, it points to a lack of love, namely self-love. I know that I don’t feel lonely when I am completely happy with my life and myself. I also know that I need to be alone with myself and be okay with it. Even or especially when I am in a relationship.

I slowly start to see the benefit of being alone again. Not that I want to stay alone. I just see it as another period in which I can work on myself and my life. Not being in a relationship can actually be a good compass. When you are single and you feel completely happy with how your life is going this would be a wonderful sign. Again, you should not confuse this with wanting to remain single for eternity. It shows that you are balanced and like yourself a lot. I think that others will also see and feel this.

So that’s where I am headed (hopefully). I still feel lonely. Sometimes a lot. But I got to the point when I can endure this pain. I think it is another sign that the fog disappears. When you see the benefit in something painful this is a very good sign =).

So why is this an article about love? Well it is about self-love. Being alone and okay with it is a sign that you like yourself. This always needs to be the precursor before entering a new relationship. It is not a guarantee that it remains that way (I speak from my own experience) but when you go into a new relationship without being friends with yourself you already put a lot of pressure (knowingly or unknowingly) on the relationship.

What do you think?


Take care, Stephan

One Comment Add yours

  1. So true about finding the benefit of painful experiences, I’ve had to do that this year. Finding the benefits can give you closure!


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