36 Questions to fall in love – XXXI

I think it is only fair that you get to know me a little bit better to understand how I think and how my brain works in order to put my writings into perspective and to draw your own conclusions. This is why I, once about every ten days, answer one of the questions from the New York Times question series: 36 Questions – How to fall in love.

If you want to start at the very beginning, you can find question 1 here.

And if you just missed the last answer to question 30, you can find it here.


Question #31 reads as follows:

“Tell your partner something you like about them already.”


Still no new partner, but I’ll follow a different approach this time. I will write about what I am likely to focus on during the first few dates. This might be even a more direct way to get to know me and the way I think.

What I am always curious about is what she is doing. Also, beyond mere work. I like to have a conversation when my partner is so energized and passionate about a topic that she doesn’t want to stop talking about it. In general, I very much like to listen and it is beautiful to see when my partner has those shining and awake eyes while speaking about something that is dear to her.

I am interested what her friends are doing and how she speaks about family and friends. I think it tells a lot about a person. Oh, and humor. Yes, humor is related with intelligence and if the humor has a dark note all the better =). Moreover, I see how open my partner is. This is not only a sign whether we built trust between us but also an indicator of how our conversations will evolve over time.

I also notice small things. Like a nice smile, or the way she walks. It can be a gesture or how she sneezes. It can be the way she dresses or the jewelry she wears.  I also notice how I feel being around her. I always try to be myself. However, during the first few dates I want to present myself in the best possible light. But there are differences. It can feel that I need to do it and it becomes effort and I am at risk to present myself in a way that is not me. Or it can be effortless, and I feel that it is totally okay to be the way I am.


What do you like about your partner? Did you tell him/her? Why not do it now? =)


Take care, Stephan


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