36 Questions to fall in love – XXX

I think it is only fair that you get to know me a little bit better to understand how I think and how my brain works in order to put my writings into perspective and to draw your own conclusions. This is why I, once about every ten days, answer one of the questions from the New York Times question series: 36 Questions – How to fall in love.

If you want to start at the very beginning, you can find question 1 here.

And if you just missed the last answer to question 29, you can find it here.

 

Question #30 reads as follows:

“When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?”

If you are an avid reader of my blog, you know that during the last year, there were many days i needed to cry. I don’t feel ashamed about that as it is a part of the healing process. I also have no problems crying in front of others as some of my friends and especially my family got to know. I don’t say that I enjoyed it. I just say that I there is no shame for a man to cry. I think it is better than bottle things up. If you do that, those issues will come out eventually.

So, the last time I cried was in front of my mom. It was one of the more difficult days. When I think about when I cried by myself for the last time, I am happy to say that this was out of joy. However, I know there will be difficult days again. And I will also cry because I feel sad.

That is also something I talked about with a friend. Because there also needs to be a balance. Sure, if you are sad and you feel the need to cry, then cry. It is helpful. However, I also felt sometimes that allowing this sadness to fully express itself that it was overwhelming me. That is why I am a bit careful now with how much I allow sadness to overcome me. When I feel that it is too much (and I guess you know when it comes to that) I just stop and do something else. I think this sadness wants and needs to be heard, but maybe, if it is too deep and too strong, it needs to be dealt with in smaller dosages.

That shows me again that life is not about the extremes. Not cry or not cry, but something in between. You can apply this to any situations in life.

 

Take care, Stephan

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