I love to read. At the moment I am in my fantasy book period. One aspect I like about reading fantasy is that there are words of wisdom here and there. Maybe it depends on the author, but I want to share one of the latest wisdom I found.
The following excerpt stems from the book: Theft of Swords by Michael J. Sullivan.
… lying is a betrayal to one’s self. It’s evidence of self-loathing. When you are so ashamed of your actions, thoughts, or intentions, you lie rather than accepting yourself for who you really are – or, in this case, pretend something happened when it didn’t. The idea of how others see you becomes more important than the reality of you. It’s like when a man would rather die than be thought of as a coward. His life is not as important to him as his reputation. In the end, who is braver? The man who dies rather than thought of as a coward or the man who lives willing to face who he really is?
It reminded me of my past. It is strange how small things are stuck in our memory. However, I always find that those memories of the past, as mundane as they appear, have a lot of value. We only need to find the reason why those images stuck in our head and the chances are that you can learn a lot about yourself.
But back to my memory of the past. Maybe you also have experienced something similar. There was this new TV series or song and you were with friends and they asked you if you have seen or heard it and because you wanted to fit in you said yes, although you had no clue. But the fear of not belonging was too big and so you lied. That is what I have done in the past. For me it definitely shows that I didn’t really like myself and I needed the acknowledgement of others. I needed to belong somewhere to the detriment of my true self.
I mean I even felt it back then. It felt wrong to tell a lie and still I did it again and again. Back then I was not nearly as reflected and aware as I am now, although I always thought a lot about myself and life. But thinking a lot and being reflected are two different pairs of shoes =). I had to learn that I need to love myself. I know there is still some way to go but it is way better. It even feels better to say the truth. Every time I say the truth I get closer to the real me. Every time I lie I distance myself from myself. If people like or love you and value your company, then they will accept you (almost) no matter what. Especially regarding those small things. They don’t care if you don’t like this band or you didn’t watch this movie. They like you for how you are. And they will value you even more when they know that you are an honest person =).