The question can be applied in different contexts. In this article, I want to explore what this question means if you are on a low point in your life.
You might now this feeling. You don’t have energy, you feel down, and it seems you lack any sense of purpose. However, you wish that everything would be better and you generally just want to be happy. You read a lot to get advice and you might speak to everyone who could bring clarity and answers why this has happened to you.
That sounds, in essence, positive. However, it doesn’t say much about your willingness to be helped. Last year, I was in a very dark place and I was looking for answers and I wanted the pain to go away. I had countless talks but I was running in circles and came back to the same questions and the same topic over and over. In one conversation, I realized that I don’t want to be helped. I was not open enough. I tried to hold on tightly to something I had already lost. I didn’t accept and more importantly, I didn’t want to accept the new situation.
Yes, this is not a very optimistic state and you might say that this sounds scary as it doesn’t leave much room for hope. Maybe it is a dance on the edge. But I also think that once you realize that you are not ready for help, you gain an important information. You are not ready yet. You might still need some time to grieve and mourn. The important thing is that you allow this to happen and not to fight it. It always needs to be accompanied with compassion towards and understanding for yourself.
On the other hand, it is crucial to ask yourself this question. Am I really open for other peoples’ suggestions? That is a decision. You have to choose. If you are not ready and you are still looking for help and asking questions you don’t give others the chance to have an impact. And, you also prevent yourself from making progress. Being open for help might mean that you need to do things that feel uncomfortable. It might mean that you have to do things that feel counterintuitive. Being open for help means to trust. Not blindly of course, but without a certain amount of trust you will doubt and prevent progress.
So, are you really ready for help?