Musings on Love – VI

The last time, I wrote about letting go and that it is still difficult for me. I realized that there are still two parties involved that this is even possible.

After managing to not write her for a while (I know I tried that often but failed again and again), I thought I am making progress. When I wrote her, and she didn’t respond I was increasingly okay with that. Still, I have my moments when I want to write her very much and sometimes I am not strong enough. Still some work to do, I know.

But today you will find me confused. Yesterday, out of the blue she sent me a mail with a picture that she is learning German. I just asked if her preparation is going well and that she will likely speak German better than me very soon. I also wrote her that I have some difficulties while learning Russian. Even if we are not together anymore I came to like the language and I want to continue learning it. During the night she wrote me a long mail explaining in great detail the grammar and when to use what. I was grateful for the time she took to formulate the mail. Of course, I took that as a sign that we can talk again a bit more. So, I asked her. She said no and that she is not interested in me anymore and that she only replied because I had the grammar question.

I am very confused. Why did she send me a picture of her learning German in the first place? Only to tell me one day later that she is not interested in me and doesn’t want to see or talk to me?

If you really don’t want to have something to do with someone you can block him or her everywhere. Sure, I should be more firm and strict with myself not to write her. But then I think it is her duty as well. Or am I wrong? At least it was not conducive to my state of mind and created some hope again. And she knows how I react to her writing to me.

So, if your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you. Really try to not write him or her but also be kind and understanding with yourself in case you do. See if you can have greater pauses between times you write or feel like writing and do everything possible to limit your means to write him or her.

If you broke up with someone and you realize that he or she has problems letting go, don’t give them hope. If you really don’t want to talk to them then block them wherever possible. I know it is hard, but in the long run, this is better for everyone.


From a confused Stephan

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