I guess you know him. Maybe you know him under a different name or even a different sex, but you met at least one of the family Van Doubts.
He is that voice in your head that questions everything you do. Is that right? Do I deserve that? What if I am wrong? Those are the questions he is asking. He is a constant companion for all my life. And, he visits often. It doesn’t make sense to fight him. Often, he returns stronger and fiercer than before. But what I can do is to talk to him.
I acknowledge and understand that he has good intentions. Mainly to keep me safe. What he defines as dangerous is up for discussions though. And here is the point: Vincent is not me. It is the voice of safety, of comfort, and of fear of the unknown.
But I think it is time to change the way we interact. I am glad that you want to keep me safe but keeping me safe means no progress. It leads to me feeling uncertain and unhappy. I think we have tried your way long enough and it is my time now. If you love me, you will support me and will be patient with me.
I know you won’t disappear from today to tomorrow. I know that you will accompany me along my way. But I also hope that our relationship will change. A relationship that is not ruled by fear and doubt, but by encouragement, understanding, patience, and compassion.
Maybe you can even change your last name from Van Doubt into Van Trust.
Say hi to your friend and tell him or her that you need to talk.