How much time should you give yourself?

This is the question I ask myself: How much time should I give myself?

I know that time has the potential to heal all wounds. Sure, when you are still suffering and/or sad, this is does not console one’s grief. But, I know it to be true, even when doubting it sometimes. I also know that it is an individual process and nobody can tell me how many hours, days, weeks or months I should give myself. What I am looking for are clues when to move on.

At the moment, I can still feel this void within me. It is with me for 3 months now. Almost every day, I check, if I feel ready to move on and the answer is still no. On the contrary. I still hope. I also tell myself at the end of those discussions with myself that I give myself more time. Bring more distance between what has happened and the potential moment I am ready to move on.

However, with every single day I get a tiny bit more worried that this will remain my status quo. I know, I choose to be in this spot. I also know that only I can change my thoughts and believes. I also know about the consequences. Still, I cannot and don’t want to change. Here the hope comes back into play.

On the other hand, I am really curious. I see myself as an experiment. Observing very closely what I feel and how I think each day. I am looking for clues that will tell me now is the time. I might have found one already. Thoughts that raise doubts and make me question if this self-inflicted state of mind is justified. Memories that tell a different story. A story that would require me to change my thoughts and therefore the story I tell myself. Unfortunately, or fortunately who knows this, they are not strong enough to convince me (yet???).

Do you know how much time you should give yourself? And when it is time to move on? And do you know any clues that signal you are ready for the transition?



2 Comments Add yours

  1. I think it’s a really interesting question but also a dangerous one. Overthinking something that causes you pain and suffering will lead to even more pain and suffering in my opinion. It’s great to accept and recognize your feelings but don’t focus on them too much. Maybe focusing on small things and pleasures in life can be a good distraction and hopefully you’ll realise you’re not feeling pain anymore, before you even notice a change 🙂

    Good luck!!

    Liked by 1 person

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