What contributes to good parenting?

This is not going to be an exhaustive list of things that resemble good parenting. It is about what might help with raising confident children.

I don’t have any children yet. So, I am far away from being an expert on this topic. And even if I had children, raising children is one of the most difficult things there is to do. But that does not keep me from learning more about the topic. I want to be as prepared as I can be. I know many parents say that raising children is just applying common sense. I agree, but I also think that there are natural tendencies in us that cloud or work against our common sense.

At the moment I watch quite a few videos of interviews with Jordan B. Peterson, who is a clinical psychologist and quite a controversial figure what I got to know in the little time I spend with him and his views by watching the videos. I am not going to say that you should like him or hate him. You think and decide for yourself, if you watch his videos.

A couple of day ago he uploaded a video in which he talks about parenting and the role of a parent. He states that it is not good enough to become friends with your children, because, as a parent, you are so much more for your child. He further says that parents need to be courageous, because they have to let their children go and make mistakes. With this comes a need for a certain kind of detachment. And here is the first struggle of common sense against our internal inclinations. On the one hand, we know that people learn best through making mistakes and that this definitely applied to us. But on the other hand, when it comes to raising children, parents often hover over children to make sure nothing bad happens to them.

However, there are times when it is necessary to intervene. Knowing the difference between when to hold yourself back and when to intervene is a difficult task as well. In his video he says that parents can be too afraid to intervene fearing to make a mistake that is irrevocable. This anxiety might result in the other extreme of passivity. Again, I think that from an outside perspective it is easy to apply common sense and to have a good idea when to intervene and when not. But when you are anxious about doing everything right, this can paralyze you.

He also says that you don’t have to be perfect as a parent. Of course, you should give your best, but even if you make a mistake, you can be forgiven.

Courage is necessary to endure being detached from your children for the sake of helping them learn and grow. But it is equally important to intervene, and not be hold back by the fear of doing something wrong.

Here is the short video to watch:

 

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.

 

Have a wonderful day and take care!

Stephan

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