This following quote is a letter from the book I am currently reading, called Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson. It is something that floods my mind with memories and my body with emotions. For me it entails a truth, I am yet to find out how to best deal with.
When you read a book, it is easy to get lost in the story. However, what we read is often heavily biased by the memories, feelings, and thoughts of the author. The following letter from the book feels like the author went through his own discovery process, finding the truth for himself. But what is this truth? You can find it in the following quote (maybe take some time to reflect about what this means to you and how it makes you feel):
The most important words a man can say are, “I will do better.” These are not the most important words any man can say. I am a man, and they are what I needed to say.
The ancient code of the Knights Radiant says “journey before destination.” Some may call it a simple platitude, but it is far more. A journey will have pain and failure. It is not only the steps forward that we must accept. It is the stumbles. The trials. The knowledge that we will fail. That we will hurt those around us.
But if we stop, if we accept the person we are when we fall, the journey ends. hat failure becomes our destination.
To love the journey is to accept no such end. I have found, through painful experience, that the most important step a person can take is always the next one.
Yes, I hurt other people in the past. And yes, I will probably hurt other people in the future. Not willingly, and often not even consciously, but I will. For me, who tries to be nice and do the right things, this is a difficult pill to swallow.
I felt a lot of pain in the past, and I will probably feel more pain in the future. I mean it still pains me to live on without Tanya. But to avoid pain would mean to stop living. To not take risks, to not face fears, to not want to grow.
I failed in the past, and I will fail in the future. Maybe I didn’t fail enough. In my mind I see myself as a rough granite block. Each failure chisels a piece from the person I can become. I think there is still a huge chunk hidden beneath blocks of granite.
But I don’t want to accept that my failure defines me. This would mean the end of my journey. I say it out loud: I will do better! Even though I don’t know yet what it can look like. I know that I want to learn from my pain and my failures. I don’t want to repeat my mistakes. Maybe this insight comes too late for some things in my life. But I have, and I will live with this knowledge. I hope it won’t make me feel numb towards myself.
Although I might stumble. Even if I fail again. Even if I hurt again and be hurt. I will take the most important step I can take: the next step!
Have a wonderful day and take care!