I think it is only fair that you get to know me a little bit better to understand how I think and how my brain works in order to put my writings into perspective and to draw your own conclusions. This is why I, once about every ten days, answer one of the questions from the New York Times question series: 36 Questions – How to fall in love.
If you want to start at the very beginning, you can find question 1 here.
And if you just missed the last answer to question 17, you can find it here.
Question #18 reads as follows:
What is your most terrible memory?
The first thing that came to my mind was the break up with my ex-girlfriend and with it the last six months of 2017. Those were very difficult and at times dark months for me. I cried a lot, I lost faith in myself, and I questioned my own purpose. My mind constantly revolved around her and I thought of the good times we had, and I wanted nothing more than to get back with her.
It went so far that my parents were worried about me and also my sister. At times, I was even worried about myself. I completely lost myself. In general, I am a fun guy and I like to laugh and can enjoy life. During this time, it was very difficult to see the glass as half full. It was very difficult for me to get out of that vicious circle.
Looking back now, I am a different person again. Almost back to be the person I was once in my life. Thinking about this time still creates a physical reaction in my body. It feels as if a fist is clenching my heart. I don’t like to see me like this and how it affected the people around me.
Have a wonderful day and take care!
Stephan (Chillán, 22:05)