Don’t put others in a box

Do you sometimes have a difficult relationship with others? You want to improve it, but you don’t know how? Maybe you put him or her into a box.

I don’t say you did it on purpose and I also know why we do it. It is easier for us and our brains to put label on things in order to “better understand” them. It is a coping mechanism to make sense of the world. Often, we assess and evaluate a person during the first moments of an interaction. The good or bad thing is then that it is difficult for this person to get out of this box. Especially, because once we made a decision, we are looking for clues to support our decision. I mean the other way would lead us to constantly doubt ourselves and our decisions, which is not a very pleasant way of living.

However, knowing that might help to take a second look. It might help to see the expectations you have towards another person. Be it good ones or bad ones and be it too demanding ones or expectations that he or she cannot do anything right. You will only see the reality you create. There is another effect. People are likely to behave in the way you expect them to. This can be a vicious circle. Though, it can also be the exact opposite and create a flourishing relationship.

So, don’t intentionally put people into boxes. We already do it often enough unconsciously. If you have a problem with someone, think about the expectations you have towards this person and try to change your expectations and see what will happen. The least you can do is to see if you actually find evidence for things that contradict your expectations. Be open and give everybody a chance. Maybe it is the second chance, but maybe it will be the real first chance you give them.

I mean, do you like to be put into a box?

 

Have a wonderful day and take care!

Stephan

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