I often write about the importance of loving oneself. For some it might be easy, but for some it is a bit more difficult. From time to time, I also struggle with it, though there are a few things you can do to train or increase your self-love.
Loving yourself is the basis for being able to love others. You might say that this is not true. You might say that you struggle loving yourself, but it is easy to love someone else. To a certain degree, I agree with you. Though, I am not sure how sustainable this love is. I think we need to be able to show ourselves some love. We might get it from somewhere else, but what happens, if we lose this source from where we receive love? I’d like to argue that even you lose this external source, we feel depleted or lost. Having a healthy dose of self-love can prevent this from happening.
- Date with yourself
Why don’t you take a day off, or spend a day as if you would take someone out on a date? You definitely deserve this. It is easy to see the ones we love struggle and recommending them to take care of themselves. Why not doing the same for ourselves. You are worthy of loving! So, show it to yourself from time to time =)
- Speak with yourself as you would do with your best friend
That is also not as easy as it sounds, but so very important. We are often our own worst critics. With others, we try to understand and cut them some slack, why they might have made a mistake. With ourselves, we can be pretty rough. Please keep in mind that every internal voice was an external voice first. This could release some of the harshness you show towards yourself, realizing this is not really your opinion, but you took it in from someone else. Please be understanding towards yourself. I know you try to do your best.
- Write down things you love about yourself
For a duration of 3-4 weeks, each evening, write down one aspect you love about yourself. This can be difficult, but it only shows that we have some more training to do in loving ourselves. Those things can also be “small” things like: I love about myself that I take care of myself in eating healthy. Or: I love about myself that I have an open ear for friends. If you struggle at the beginning, write down things about a person you love. All of his or her positive attributes, skills, talents, and so on. This can give you a wider spectrum of items to draw from. And have this list somewhere visible, that you can remind yourself of all the things you love about yourself =).
- Say yes
Say yes to things you like to do or that you want to do. Especially, if you are afraid of doing them. If you weren’t afraid, it probably would not mean much to you. It is difficult to find something more powerful to show yourself some love than listening to your desires and dreams and then taking action to create the life you want to be living. Again, not that easy. But taking even a small step into the right direction will help you to feel confident and proud of yourself. Both are related to self-love.
- Say no
On the other hand, don’t do things you don’t really want to do. Even if you said yes to going to a party, but you cancel it on short notice. Your friends will understand, if you explain them the real reason. Real friends are interested in your well-being. A “no” can also be good for you at work. We often tend to take on a lot, and maybe sometimes more than we can handle. Saying no therefore means taking care of yourself.
I hope this list is of some help for you. What are other things you do to increase your self-love? Let me know in the comments below.
Have a wonderful day and take care!