Musings on love: What is love? – I

What is love? I think each of us has a vague description of what we consider as love. We say that we need more love to solve our problems. But how can we solve something, if we don’t have a good understanding what the solution is?

In this new series, I want to try to discover what love is, or at least try to get closer to understand true love. I think, this will ultimately help me to know myself a bit better.

I want to start my research and reflection with a video about true love. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, especially at the very beginning of the journey. Watching those videos, it is quite easy to get emotional. Not because it is an emotional topic, which it can be, but because the creators use music to create a certain mood. And although I like the music a lot, I want to try to be more rational when speaking about this topic. However, there will be also entries which are more emotional. I mean love is an emotional topic and it is also okay and good to feel what your emotions are telling you.

The video is by the channel word porn, and the name of the video is true love by Abraham Twerski, who is a psychiatrist. In his short video, he speaks of “fish love”. He tells a short story where a man asks another one why he eats fish? The other man says, that he loves fish. To that the first man says that he doesn’t love fish but himself. Otherwise, he would not have taken the fish out of the water, killed it and boiled it. He finishes with the statement that true love is a love of giving and a love of receiving.

What I take from his video is that he speaks about true love is not selfish. It shouldn’t be only about me and my dreams, and needs. Love should be about caring and giving something to the other. May it be time, attention, or something else. When I reflect upon whether love should be about giving instead of receiving, I have mixed thoughts. I think there should be a balance. If you give and give and it is only one-sided, it cannot be true love. Or let’s say no true mutual love. The same is true when one person is always receiving without giving back. However, I think you should still give without having the expectation to get something in return. And I think that is a very difficult thing to do. We often compare what others did and what we deserve etc. Letting go of our need to be compensated for good deeds is important to feel true love. Because, if we don’t, we speak about love under conditions. And what love should be is being unconditional.


Have a wonderful day and take care!



PS: Here is the video, in case you want to watch it =)

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