Today, I am going to answer the ninth question of the New York Times question series: 36 Questions – How to fall in love.
If you are new to this blog and/or this series, and you want to start at the beginning, you can find the first question and its answer here.
And if you are interested in my answer to the last question, you can find it here.
As you might have noticed, I skipped question number eight. I skipped it because this question is about me and my partner. As I don’t have a partner, and I am not sure how I will and want to answer this question, I will postpone the answer to it.
The ninth question is as follows:
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
I think the answer to this question can vary a lot. It depends on the situation I am and whether something special has happened. My answer to this question one year ago is different to my answer as of today. And that is okay. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel grateful for that anymore, but the importance shifted. And, it makes sense to think about what we are grateful for on a constant basis.
This year was a very difficult year for me. Especially the second half. My girlfriend, who I really loved broke up with me, because she couldn’t stand that we are not living together and that she lost hope we ever will. I more and more realized that I am not very happy with the job I am doing, and I lived in a city without having friends there. As our brains tend to jump to the happy memories we most recently had, mine were about my ex-girlfriend. And so, a downward spiral began. Whenever I was alone my thoughts of her returned and I tried to get back together with her. And although I was rejected over and over by her, I still had hope. It turned out that my feeling of hope was right, but that is another story. Having uncertainty in different areas of my life, I didn’t find the energy to change it. As I wrote in another post, I was passive and reactive. And it took a while to take my life back into my own hands.
But no matter what happened, my parents and my sister were there for me. There were countless times when I had to call them when I felt down and didn’t know what to do next. And they tried everything they could that I feel better. I don’t know how this had played out without their support and help, and love. I know I didn’t make it easy for them this year. And I also know that they suffered because of me. But still, they were optimistic and supportive. I am very very grateful for them. When you read it, I want to tell you that I love you very much.
What are you most grateful for?
Have a wonderful day and take care!