Everyone has his/her burden to carry

It is so easy to get consumed by my own suffering and even easier to claim that nobody else has to endure what I have to endure. But this thought is selfish, unthinking, and plain false.

You never know what other people go through and/or have to bear. Of course, we compare ourselves. I do so myself. I see my family and my friends, and I wish I could have similar things. When I take a closer look, I see that I expect to have those things myself. And expectations can lead to suffering.

But we have some measure of control. For instance, we can decide with whom we compare ourselves. It is natural that we compare ourselves to people in our surroundings or the same social class. At times it makes sense to broaden our view a bit and to observe and reflect about what other people have to face. Accepting that other people suffer can be a relief. I mean this not in the sense of enjoying their suffering, but to acknowledge that you are not alone in your suffering.

It can also put things into perspective. Maybe you realize that other people have a worse fate or have to endure a more difficult phase in their lives. However, it is not about neglecting your own pain and suffering, or to say it is not important. It is! Though, it is good to acknowledge the existence of suffering around you, too.

And please be careful. Especially what you tell others. Telling them that they don’t suffer or that it is so much easier is a certain way to drive them away and to hurt them even more. What seems easy for you to accept and to bear might not be easy for others. In addition, please don’t judge others, as you should not judge yourself, as well. I mean, who am I to judge others, knowing about my own flaws and faults?

Even people who seem to be happy might suffer. Only because people smile they are not necessarily okay. Most of us became very adept in hiding our feelings in front of others. That is why trying to understand each other is so very important.

I am not alone in my suffering and so are you =)

Have a wonderful day and take care!

Stephan

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