Today I needed some distance from everything. Although I had work to do, or at least something that is on my to-want list, I more or less “wasted” my day. But when is time wasted?
I am responsible for my own life. I can choose how I want to spend my time. But I guess we all heard this nagging voice to do something productive and to stop being such a couch potato. This voice can be helpful, but it can also cause negative stress.
After having quite a bad day yesterday, today was not necessarily better. At the moment, I actually have something to do that will help me in the long run, but I was also aware that today might be still a bit tough. So, I approached the day giving myself all the time I need and the freedom to do what feels right. I slept quite long, went to the market, played some games, talked to my family, and watched some videos. Bottom line, I didn’t do anything what I planned to do.
And you guessed it, that nagging voice appeared. I know it is a good sign, because it will help me to move on. On the other hand, I had to ask myself, why I cannot give myself just a day off? Or a couple of days? Without the negative feeling of having wasted my time. I know, we only have a limited amount of time on this beautiful planet and we should use it as best as possible. But what, if this means to just do nothing “productive” for some time? Why is it difficult to give myself time to recover and recharge my batteries?
It is almost like a negotiation between two parts within me. The nagging voice on the one side, and the calming voice on the other. Both deserve being heard, but it is more difficult to remain a good feeling when giving in to the calm voice, than it is to give in to the nagging voice. I just think that I need this time. And I want to give me this time. But maybe it is difficult, because I postponed this decision and the work that comes with it for too long.
What I can say is that spending my day this way helped me to keep my mind of ruminating about yesterday. And it also made the day pass a bit quicker. This is good, because I know that with every new day, I will feel better and better again. Today, I could convince myself that it was not wasted time. Instead, I enjoyed “wasting” my time.
Is it difficult for you to “waste” time? And how do you deal with that nagging voice? Let me know in the comments below.
Have a wonderful day and take care =)