36 Questions to fall in love – III

In today’s blog entry, I will answer the third question of the 36-questions series published by the New York Times with the title: 36 Questions – How to fall in love.

If you are new to the blog and you want to read the first entry, just click here.

If you didn’t read my answer to the last question you can find it here.

The third question is the following:

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

Normally, I don’t rehearse what I am going to say. I just let the conversation unfold the way it was meant to be. I like it because those conversations often have a more natural touch. However, I do realize that sometimes those conversation can also get a bit confuse or chaotic, and some structure might be beneficial. So, thinking about some talking points can enhance the talk. Nevertheless, even if I do have a structure, the conversations go rarely as planned. Maybe my expectations are wrong or the structure is not sufficient. But it can feel forced, if I want to address a topic that we didn’t remotely touch upon before.

When I do rehearse for a call, I do it because it is very important to me, to achieve a certain outcome. Maybe it makes sense to always think about what you want to get out of the conversation (e.g. this can be to get to know how the other person is doing etc.). Examples include conducting an interview with someone else, having a job interview, and sometimes speaking with a loved one. I can remember that in the beginning of my relationships, I often thought a lot about what I am going to say and how I will say it.

The downside is that, while ruminating the same ideas, I often get too attached to my favorite outcome and then I might be disappointed when it ends differently. I guess, in summary, rehearsing and planning make sense to a certain degree, but it is also important not to get to attached to my own expectations for the outcome of the conversation.

Do you rehearse what you are going to say? In which situations? Let me know in the comments below.

Have a wonderful day and take care =)

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