Musings on love – II

What would you do for someone you love?

My immediate response would be: everything. Then, I would stop and say: Almost everything. But what does this almost everything mean? I guess that is something I thought too little about yet.

And it is immensely important to know, as it has the chance to impact my life. Would I act according to my values and ideals? Would I allow to lose give up a part of myself? And if I do all of this, is that really healthy? Is that still love?

I ask, because I don’t have an answer to this. Yesterday, I spoke to a friend and we were talking abound boundaries and of appreciation. I am convinced that true love cannot be a one-way street. So, can it really be called love, if I give and don’t get anything back in return? Is it selfish to expect something in return? Shouldn’t we love unconditionally?

I think that it is a fine line, and everyone has to answer those questions for him- or herself.

Maybe it sounds selfish, but it might be best to put myself first. To say that those are my values and ideals and I want to be treated the same way I treat the person I love. I think that only from a position of strengths in oneself and love for oneself is it possible to love others without the fear of losing oneself.

And another question is when do you know the right time to stop? To stop being there or to stop offering help. It is difficult to find the right time to just do nothing and be patient.

As I reflect while writing this I wonder, how would I answer the question from the beginning now: What would you do for someone you love?

Now, my answer will be slightly different. I will promise that person, that I will be true to myself and that I don’t want to let go of or deny my values and ideals and that I want the other person to accept this. And, I would say, that I will everything that I am capable of doing and to love unconditionally.

But this can only be sustainable from a position of internal balance and love for myself. That is one of the many tasks I need and want to do. Love is something wonderful, but not at the expense of losing myself.

 

Take care

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