Musings on love

Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues,
Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.
(The Merry Wives of Windsor. V. ii. 205-207)

 

Today is my sister’s wedding. What better time to briefly reflect about love.

The citation above stems from William Shakespeare. I want to give a short explanation of what he meant. Shakespeare wanted to tell that love is like a shadow. When we try to hunt our own shadow we will never catch it, because it will always escape from us. The same is true for the opposite. When we try to get away from our shadow, it will always follow us.

As I am still recovering from a break up, the meaning of those lines seem amplified to me. Of course, it is not the first time I read about this. I often read articles which give tips on how to find love and almost all give the advice of making oneself unavailable or hard to get. At least in the beginning.

I wonder why we have to engage in those games. Is it because we are uncertain of the love for ourselves, that we question or are even skeptical, if someone else shows us attention and love on a constant basis? Do we think that love freely given is worth less than love which is fought for? I don’t know if the comparison is correct but I see the same holds true for other worldly objects. We tend to value items more which are more expensive, rare or hard to get.  And we tend to neglect or give little attention to things that are cheap, abundant, or easy to get.

Does it mean I have to see myself as a commodity and market myself? And maybe the better question: Do I want this?

On the other hand, do I forfeit the opportunity and ability to find/get the woman of my dreams because I don’t engage in those socially accepted (or even required) games?

Especially, when people tell you to be true to yourself. When I like someone, I show it to that person. And yes, in the past I did this to get love and affection in return. My kindness was not given unconditionally. However, now I still like to be kind because I think that the world is in need of a little more love.

However, maybe I should also continue asking myself, if I really love myself. Do I really need to “chase” someone and tell her about my affection, when I truly love myself? Shouldn’t it be easy to just say: I am ok with myself and I can be alone and if you want to go this way with me fine, and if not then this is also ok?

I know this entry probably raised more questions than it gave answers. I just think that those questions are worth pondering about.

 

Have a wonderful day and think about how you can spread some love right now =)

 

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Jo says:

    What do you mean by “articles which give tips on how to find love and almost all give the advice of making oneself unavailable or hard to get. At least in the beginning.”

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    1. Hi Jo, with articles, I don’t mean scientific articles. I was speaking about video blogs or other blog or website entries. The most recent, I saw is from Beyond Science 2. It is good however to reflect about what you read and heard and not to accept everything easily. If you can find a different point of view on the matter I’d be happy if you share =)

      Like

      1. J says:

        So you mean, when someone is looking for a partner, he/she should act as if he/she does not want to be in a relationship in order to get into one?

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      2. Not exactly. What they propose is to not make yourself available all the time.

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